A Sinner's Prayer
by nessalyn
Summary: Kwest and Jude are dating and Kwest has every intention of asking her to be his wife, but what happens when good ol' Tommy Q. comes back to town?
1. Chapter 1

"Kwest are you here?" Jude aasked as she walked into their apartment.

"In here," he called from the living room.

Jude smiled and dropped her things on the floor before walking into the living room. She crept up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "What are you still doing awake?" She asked, glancing at the clock. It was already two A.M., which meant she had been at the studio for twelve hours straight, working on a few new songs for her new album.

"What are you doing home so late?" he asked, a playful smirk on his face.

"I should have been home five hours ago, but I ended up arguing with the new producer that Darius hired, without consulting me, I might add."

"I don't think it's just the new producer," he told her, as he turned around in her arms in order to look Jude in the eyes. "I think that you're not going to find another producer like Tommy, and that bothers you."

Jude tensed at the mention of Tommy's name. He had been gone for three years already, and in that time she still hadn't been able to find a decent producer. Not only had her music changed since Tommy left, but also her relationships. While Tommy was gone, Kwest and Jude had gotten closer, and they had now been dating for almost two years.

"That's not true," she said quickly. "All I want, is for you to be my producer. I've gone through six producers in three years, Kwest. It'll work if you do it Kwest."

"You know why it won't. And the only reason you went through so many producers is because you're too stubborn Jude."

"I am not!"

Kwest raised his eyebrows and stared pointedly at her.

"No funny," she warned, a frown displaying across her features.

"Yes it is." He insisted, smiling slightly.

"And why would you say that I'm stubborn?"

"Because it's true, and before you throw one of your little diva fits, being stubborn isn't a bad thing all the time."

"Sure," Jude said as she collapsed onto the couch.

"Are you really having that many problems with Reese?" Kwest asked, naming her new producer.

"Yes! He called me Britney Spears today," she said as she pouted childishly.

"Ouch," Kwest said, smirking.

"Yeah. He says he doesn't like my music, and he told me I'm a poser."

"I'll think about it," Kwest said point-blankly.

"Think about what?"

"Being your producer."

"You will?"

"Yes. I can see how miserable you are with all the other ones. Maybe I can change that."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Jude said, getting off the couch and hugging him tightly.

"You're welcome," he yawned. "Now get to bed," he said authoritively.

"Yes sir," she said as she kissed him on the cheek.

The next morning, Jude found a note from Kwest, laying on her bedside table. He had gone into the studio a few hours earlier, so he could talk to Darius. She sighed and went to take a quick shower.

Kwest sat in Darius's newly remodeled office. To his dismay, convincing Darius to make him Jude's producer was turning out to be a lot hardre than he had first though.

"D, I know she should give this guy a chance, but I really think that I could maybe do a better job with her. I understand her."

"You may be the only one on the planet that does," Darius paused and looked thoughtfully for a moment, almost as if he was considering Kwest's proposition. Kwest remained silent, mentally pleading that his boss would grant his request. "Do you really think you can do a better job?"

"Yes, I really do."

"Then go for it," he said. "I'll let you tell Jude the good news.

"Thanks Darius," Kwest said quickly before he walked toward Studio A. He sat down in his seat and started to work on mixing a few songs until Jude came in later that morning.

"Hey," she said, sitting down beside him. Kwest looked over at her, slightly started. He hadn't heard her come in, but he was happy to see her. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Nothing," Kwest said and then smirked at her apprehensious face, "but you're looking at your new producer."

Jude's eyes lit up and she hugged Kwest tightly. "Really?" She asked, her voice high with excitement.

"Really," he said softly, running his fingers through her hair.

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" she asked, joy evident in her eyes.

"Just hold on," he said. "We need to set some ground rules. When we're working, we are not a couple. I am your producer and you are my client."

"Gotcha," she said quickly before walking into the sound booth and working on a song she had wrtten the day before.

Later that night at their apartment, they were in their room watching a movie.

"What do you think about going out for dinner tomorrow night?" Kwest asked as Jude cuddled against him.

"I think it's a great idea," she said, reaching for his hand.

"Good," he smiled, kissed the top of her head, and settled in to watch the movie, enjoying the rare quality time with his girlfriend.

The next day was a blur to both Kwest and Jude. Things at G Major were more hectic than usual, but neither of them knew why.

"Kwest, is there something that everyone else knows that we don't?"

"I really don't know," he said, concentrating on the sound board.

"Are you even paying attention to me?"

He looked up at her quickly. "Of course I am. I'm just a little preoccupied."

"And so is everyone else," she said quietly.

"Just don't worry about it Jude. Whatever everyone is all worked up about, I'm sure it's nothing." Kwest said, trying to reassure her, but Jude wasn't convinced.

After work, Jude rushed home, curled her hair into tight ringlets, and slipped into a sexy black dress. Kwest wore a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt.

"Ready to go?" he asked as he opened the door for her.

She smiled at him and walked out to the car.

Once they arrived at the restuarant they ordered their food and started a quiet conversation.

"What do you think of Patsy and Jamie getting married?" Jude asked randomly, as she took a bite of her pasta.

"What should I think? They're not a very likely couple."

"And neither are we," she said, a smile playing at her lips.

"Good point," he laughed softly.

Soon after they had finished their meal, the waiter brought a small, lavishly decorated cake, and set it in front of Jude.

"What's this?" she asked, having not seen the glittering diamond ring that sat upon the deep chocolate frosting.

Kwest smiled and knelt down in front of her, taking her hand. "Jude Aspen Harrison, will you marry me?" he asked, putting the ring on her delicate finger.

She stared at him with wide eyes, shock overcoming her at first, but she quickly nodded and got up to hug him.

He kissed her passionately while the other people in the restaurant awed and clapped.

Jude was too excited to sit still after his proposal so Kwest drove her to the studio.

"I can't believe this," she said, looking at the ring for the millionth time that evening.

"Believe it," Kwest said, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

They talked for awhile longer and then headed back to their apartment.

By the next morning, the news of the engagement had spread like wildfire. Darius had even called to congratulate her and give her the day off. Kwest on the other hand, wasn't so lucky.

Jude was cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang. She groaned and quickly walked into the livingroom to answer it.

"Hello, she said.

"Jude," a voice said quietly.

The phone fell out of her hands and clattered to the floor. She tried to compose herself before she picked it up.

"Jude, are you there?"

"Yes I 'm here. What do you want?" her voice bitter.

"To see how you are."

"How I am? You haven't called in three years Tommy!"

"I know that's how it seems."

"It's not just how it seems, it's hot it is. People don't just leave and not have contact with anyone for three years!"

"I'm sorry Jude, I really am." Tommy said, sounding sincere. No matter what Jude believed, her really was sorry about what had happened.

"Sorry doesn't mean much coming from you." Jude snapped back bitterly.

"You're making a mistake Jude," he said bluntly.

"A mistake?"

"You and Kwest. It's not a good idea."

"Oh, so that's why you called. To ruin my life, for the second time, with your stupid thoughts and insinuations."

"No Jude, I called because I...love you," he sighed.

"Tell someone who cares," she said, her voice dripping with venom. She waited a split second before slamming the phone onto the reciever.

The call rattled her so much that she ran to the bathroom and eptied the contents of her stomach. She paced around the apartement, knowing the call from Tommy shouldn't have upset her as much as it did.

Kwest called home on his lunch hour.

"Hey."

"Hi," Jude said softly.

"Something wrong?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"No, everythings fine. I just feel a bit off today."

"Do you want me to come home?"

"No!" She said, a little too quickly. "I mean, I'll be fine and you know Darius would be mad."

"Okay. I'll see you late tonight. Love you."

"Love you too," Jude whispered before she turned the phone off.

She sat down on the couch and sighed deeply. Tommy couldn't have chosen a worse time to barge back into her life. She was finally getting everything back on track.

By the time Kwest came home, she was passed out on the couch. He smiled and knelt down beside her, brushing a stray hair out of her face. He carefully picked her up and carried her to their bedroom, carefully tucking her under the covers before going to take a shower.

After his shower, he came back into the room and saw Jude sitting up in bed.

"Hey, he said quietly, crawling into bed beside her.

"Hi," she said, sleep evident in her voice.

He smiled at the innocent, child-like look she gave him, and put his arms around her, bring her closer to him.

"How was your day?" she asked softly.

"Would have been better if you would have been there."

"Such a charmer," she laughed, the sound filtrating around the room.

"I only speak the truth," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Sure."

He sombered up a bit and looked ahead. "Darius got an interesting phone call today."

"Oh yeah?" she asked.

"Tommy called, and he uh, he wants his job back, Jude."

"Oh."

"Jude, he called you before I did, didn't he?"

"No," she said nervously.

"Jude, don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"I can go check the caller I.D."

"Fine," she sighed. "Yes, he called."

"Why didn't you just tell me that earlier?"

"Because I wanted to ignore it Kwest. I don't want to and I don't need to worry about him right now."

Kwest ran his fingers through her hair. "You could have told me, Jude."

"I know, but I didn't want you to worry or get mad."

"Well it wouldn't have," he paused for a moment. "Darius gave him his job back."

"He what?" she said, abruptly sitting up.

"Calm down," he said quickly.

"How could he do that? He can't come back."

"Jude, it'll be okay," he said, regretting that he'd ever told her. As much as he wanted to believe his words, he found himself feeling uneasy about the prospect of his friend's return. Sure, he had missed Tommy, but he was a threat to their relationship. He and Jude had a two year realtionship, he had nothing to worry about. They were engaged. Yet, he could stop thinking about the past. About whatching the girl he cared about, swoon over her producer and his best friend. He remember how they danced in circles around each other.

Kwest forcefully shoved the thoughts out of his head and held Jude, eventually drifting off to sleep.She slept restlessly that night, tossing and turning in her disturbed sleep. Kwest would glance at her every so often and watch her sorrowfully. Tommy tormented her in ways Kwest couldn't even begin to understand.

The next morning, Jude was on the phone, making plans for their wedding. She told Kwest she wanted to get married as soon as possible, but things weren't looking so good.

After talking to a caterer, she hung up the phone with an aggravated groan.

"What's wrong?" Kwest asked, sitting down beside her at the counter.

"I can't find a church, or a caterer, or anything else you need for a wedding."

Kwest smiled and laughed softly at her frazzled nerves.

"It's not funny," she said sternly.

"Jude, you have to chill out. We don't need to be married right now."

"Yes we do," she said as she started paging through the phone book.

He yanked the book away and grabbed her hand. "Stop. We'll get married, but not right now."

"But-"

"No, just stop. Sadie can help you make plans for a few months from now."

"Fine," she pouted.

"Hey, if I let you plan this thing as fast as you want to, you're going to run yourself down. Besides, this way, you can actually have fun planning the wedding."

She sighed. "Fine."

Kwest kissed her on the forehead and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm going into the studio this afternoon for awhile if you want to come with."

"Yeah, just give me a few minutes," she said as she grabbed her purse and threw her hair into a high ponytail.

The drive to the studio was relatively quick and quiet. But, when they got there, Jude's heart dropped to her feet.

"What's wrong?" Kwest asked, seeing the look on her face.

She stared at a yellow Porsche, her eyes wide. She quickly shook her head. "It's nothing," she said, not being able to shake the feeling that Tommy was there, at G Major.

Kwest nodded, kissed the top of her head, and protectively wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked into the building.

An odd sense of calmness flooded over Jude when she felt Kwest's touch, but that calmness was soon washed away.

A large crowd was gathered in the main lobby and Kwest was leading Jude straight into it.

Jude knew Tommy was there even before she saw him. Her stomach tossed and she felt like she was going to lose what little breakfast she had eaten. Her face turned a bleak shade of white as Tommy turned around to face her. Those tell-all blue eyes, bore into her. He gave her a slight nod and a smirk before walking over to her and Kwest.

"Kwest," Tommy nodded.

"Tommy, it's good to see you," Kwest said, shaking his hand.

"Jude," his tone softened as he stepped toward her.

"Tommy," Jude said harshly as she clung tightly to Kwest's hand, making sure her engagement ring was in plain sight.

Tommy swallowed his pride and stepped back, jamming his hands into his pockets. "You haven't changed," he said quickly, giving her the once-over. He had wanted to hug her, to feel her warmth, and smell her sweet, honeyed skin, but he knew he couldn't. "You haven't changed a bit," he said again, even though he knew she had.

"Yes, I have," she said quickly.

Kwest rubbed her back in a futile attempt to calm her down. He knew this was hard for her to handle.

Tommy stood there, for once in his life, speechless. There was nothing he could say that would make her forgive him. He had known that he'd hurt Jude, but he didn't realize that his absence would push her into the arms on another man, even more-so, his best friend.

Jude stared at him intently. If anyone hadn't changed it was him. Sure, he had aged a bit, but other than that he was the same old Tommy, and that unnerved her in the worst way. He was still the same blue-eyed, good-looking, conniving, sweet-talked, he'd been before he left.

Kwest noticed Jude's apparent hostility and began to speak. "Tom, I hate making this short, but Jude and have some work to do. We'll catch up later."

"Yeah, that sounds great."

Jude glared at him, before turning around and walking into Studio A.

"Ugh! I can't believe him!" Jude screamed.

"Jude, just calm down," he said soothingly, wrapping his arms around her waist and softly kissing her cheek.

"I can't! He comes back after all these years. Do you even know why he came back?"

"For his old job?"

"No! It's because I'm happy, and he's not! Because, I'm going to marry you!"

"Jude, be realistic about this. That's not why," Kwest said, trying to reassure her.

"Sure it's not," she said pouting, and resembling a three-year-old.

He smiled down at her and brushed her hair out of her face. "Listen, even if our engagement is why Tommy came back, it doesn't matter."

She leaned back against Kwest and closed her eyes.

"You worry too much Jude. I'm not even sure Tom knows we're engaged."

"Let's just record some new stuff I came up with last night, so I don't have to think about it."

"Okay," he said softly, letting his arms slip from her waist.

They recorded for a few hours, but Kwest finally sent her home due to her lack of concentration. After she had left, he leaned back in his chair, sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. What if Jude still loved Tommy? No, he shook his head, that's not possible. She loves me. He sat up and started to do some bookwork, an attempt to get his mind off of everything that was happening.

Jude was washing clothes later that afternoon, when she heard the doorbell. She sighed and pressed the start button on the dryer before walking to the door. She didn't bother with the peephole, thinking it was just Kwest, since he had a horrible habit of losing his keyes.

"Kwest, how many times have I told you to be- Tommy," she said, her voice going hoarse.

"You live with him too?" He asked as he walked into the apartment, without an invitation.

"Yes, I live with him. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes."

"Why are you even here? I've already made it clear that I don't want to be around you."

"Yeah, you have."

Jude sighed. "Tommy, just leave."

"Why are you doing it?"

"Doing what?"

"Marrying him. You don't love him."

"How do you know if I love him or not? You've been gone for three years. You have no right to come back here and tell me what I'm going wrong!"

"If you marry him, it'll be a mistake."

"Marrying Kwest would be the best thing that could happen to me right now."

"You can't marry him!" Tommy yelled.

"Why not?"

Tommy's expression softened and his voice quieted. "Because I love you Jude. Don't you know that?"

Jude's face instantly paled. She never expected Tommy to say something like that. After she recovered from the shock, she glared at him. "No, I didn't know that. Wanna know what? Because you left! You left me Tommy."

"I had no choice Jude."

"You had a choice! You had the choice to stay here. You had the chance to be with me, and you killed me by leaving. I didn't want to get out of bed after you left, and I sure as hell didn't want to sing."

"I'm sorry Jude."

Jude ignored his apology. "Kwest was the one who was there for me. Kwest was the one who got me to keep singing."

"You keep going on about how much I screwed up and how great Kwest is, but you've never mentioned that you love him."

Jude grew quiet and she quickly sat down on the couch. "I do love him Tommy."

Tommy shook his head and walked toward her, staring her in the eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders and touched his lips to hers, only for a few seconds, but those few seconds, were the best he'd had since he left.

Jude was too shocked to do anything, but she quickly pushed him away and stared at him blankly, showing no emotion. "Tommy, I think you should go now," she said in a soft, trembling voice.

"Don't make that mistake Jude," Tommy said. He looked at her, his blue eyes full of regret. Regret for the past three years. He nodded to her before he left the apartment.

Jude looked down at the floor, her head head in her hands, and started crying. She did love Kwest, and maybe at one time she'd loved Tommy more, but things had changed and she was going to marry Kwest.


	2. Chapter 2

Jude had lost track of time by the time Kwest came home. When he finally made it, He had found her sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

"Jude, what's wrong?" Kwest asked quickly. He kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in his own.

Jude came out of her trance-like state at the sound of Kwest's voice, and her eyes focused in on his face.

"Baby, are you okay?" Kwest asked, his voice soft and full of worry. By his expression, it was obvious that he was worried about her.

Jude nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said quietly.

"What happened?"

"I, I don't know. I guess I just kind of drifted off."

"Don't do that again," he said softly. He kissed her forehead and brushed her hair behind her ears. "You scared the crap out of me."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened," Jude said, turning a light shade of red. She was embarrassed that she had spaced out like that, especially because she knew it had happened because of Tommy.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

"How was your day?" Jude asked, changing the subject.

"Fine, I guess."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I got three of my artists taken away," Kwest said dismally.

"Taken away? Why?"

"Since Tommy has his job back now, he has to have some work."

"Oh no," she said softly. "Kwest, please tell me I'm not one of the artists."

Kwest looked at her and sat there in silence for a few minutes. "I'm your co-producer."

"Bull! I'm talking to Darius tomorrow. There is no way that he can expect me to work with Tommy." She argued.

"Well he does Jude. Don't even try talking to him, because I already did. He said that Tommy and you make a great team." Kwest said, sounding bitter.

"Yeah, we used to make a great team. I don't want to work with Tommy."

"I don't exactly like the idea either, but it's what Darius wants."

"It's not what I want though Kwest."

"I know," he said quietly, and kissed her softly before getting back up. He offered his hand to her and she took it, not bothering to question it. "Let's go to bed." He said, sounding tired. Jude nodded her agreement.

The next morning when Jude heard the alarm clock, she groaned and hit the snooze button. Kwest, who had already taken a shower, gently shook her still body.

"Jude, honey, you have to wake up."

Jude hit Kwest away and pulled a pillow over her head. "I'm not going to work," she mumbled incoherently.

Kwest laughed softly at her. "I know you don't want to go into the studio today, but you have to."

Jude groaned and sat up, her hair matted to her head in some places, and sticking out in others.

Kwest kissed her cheek and smiled at her. "You have a half hour to get ready," Kwest informed her.

"Yeah, yeah," Jude mumbled as she wandered into the bathroom.

Kwest laughed and pulled on a navy blue polo shirt. As much as he hated to admit it, he was dreading this day as much as Jude was. Tommy may be his best friend, but Kwest also knew he was still in love with Jude.

"Jude, we have to go," Kwest said, once Jude had finished her breakfast.

"I know," she said dismally. Jude grabbed her purse and followed Kwest to the car. She spent the ride to the studio mentally preparing herself for the day of hell she was about to endure.

Tommy was setting up the microphones when Kwest and Jude entered the studio. He smiled at them and came out of the sound booth.

"Hey, I'm glad you guys are here."

"Well that makes one of us," Jude mumbled under her breath.

Tommy ignored her statement and sat down in front of the sound booth. "Well, let's get started."

Jude rolled her eyes and walked into the sound booth, notebook in hand.

"Darius told me, that you've been Jude's producer for awhile," Tommy said.

"Yeah," Kwest replied, a bit bitterly.

"How's she been doing?"

"Great, but her music has changed a lot since you left."

"Well that was expected," Tommy said quickly.

Jude sat down on the chair and began singing a punk rock ballad. Her music wasn't always described as pop anymore. This song especially didn't fit the pop music mold.

Tommy turned to face Kwest, a furious look on his face. "What the hell is this shit?"

"This is Jude's music now."

"It won't be for long, if I'm her producer." Tommy furiously hit the speaker button. "Do you mind telling me, what that shit was?"

Jude stopped singing and glared at Tommy.

"Well?" Tommy demanded.

"It's called music, something you apparently know nothing about anymore. Guess that's what happens when you quit your job for three years." Jude told him, matter-of-factly.

Kwest did his best to refrain from laughing, even though a soft smirk appeared on his face. He had been worried that Jude wouldn't be able to handle herself around Tommy, but now, he saw clearly, that he had nothing to worry about.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said Quincy."

"Whatever that was, it sure as hell wasn't music."

"Well if you don't like it Tommy, you don't have to be here. Personally, I don't want you here, and I sure as hell don't want you as my producer! Kwest and I were doing just fine without you!"

"Apparently you weren't, or Darius wouldn't have asked me to come back!"

"What?"

"Darius told me my job was still here and waiting if I wanted to come back."

"I didn't want you to come back!" Jude stressed, glaring at her much hated producer.

"Well sorry about that Jude, but you're stuck with me for good."

"Oh really? Did Darius also mention how many producers I've gotten fired?"

"No."

"The last one made seven. And that's not counting the time I had you fired."

Tommy glared at Jude and looked at Kwest in disbelief.

"She's telling the truth," Kwest nodded.

"Well even if you have fired that many, I signed an eight year contract with G Major, just this morning," Tommy said, a smug smirk on his face, as if that would stop Jude from firing him.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry it took forever to update...school and work and everything has been crazy! Anyways, here's two chapters! Review please!

"Eight years?" Jude managed to choke out. She couldn't even handle him for one day, now she was expected to work with him for at least eight years. She shook her head and ran out of the studio, making her way up to the roof.  
Once she was on the roof, Jude put her hands on her hips and paced around, trying to calm herself down.  
"What's wrong with her?" Tommy asked Kwest. He had odd, clueless look on his face.  
"Oh come on Tommy. What do you think? Her producer, friend, and unfortunately, first love, left her three years ago, and now that he's back, she's supposed to pretend that nothing's wrong?" Kwest asked him. He didn't wait around for Tommy's response, instead he followed Jude to the roof, which had been her secret escape for years now.  
He found her leaning on the cement ledge, staring out at the city with her hair flowing behind her.  
"Jude-"  
"Don't Kwest. Either he has to quit or I have to. I can't even be around him for ten minutes without losing it."  
"It'll get better," he told her, placing a hand on her lower back.  
"I really wish I could believe that," Jude said in a dull voice.  
"Jude, you can. Eventually, you'll learn to tune him out."  
"Maybe, but would I ever be happy?" She looked up at him, a quizzical look on her face.  
Kwest shrugged and put his arms around her. "I don't know."  
"Everything was so perfect before he came."  
"Jude, you can just let him ruin things for you, and for us."  
"I know, and I'm trying not to." Her reply came out as barely a whisper. Guilt washed over her as she thought about Tommy's kiss the day before.  
"I know you are baby," Kwest said, rubbing her shoulders.  
They didn't speak for a few moments, instead, they relished in the odd sense of silence that enveloped them from the reality of their lives.  
"We have to go back down," Kwest said softly, his breath tickling her bare shoulder.  
"You go ahead. I'll be there in awhile."  
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Kwest asked her.  
"Yes. I just need some time alone before I face him again," Jude said, referring to Tommy."  
"Okay," Kwest said. He gave her a quick kiss and headed back into the building.  
Once he was gone, Jude sighed and sat down on the cold concrete. She was so confused. Her feelings were all jumbled up inside and she didn't know what to do with any of them. Tommy knew how to make her mad, and he was doing a damn good job of it. She hated that he now held the upper hand, but she couldn't help it. One minute he was telling her to leave Kwest and be with him, and the next he was telling her that her music was shit. She shook her head and slowly stood up. She knew she was going to have to face him sooner or later. After taking a deep breath, she opened the door and quickly made her way back to the main lobby of G Major. She was just about to open the door to the studio, when she heard Darius's deep, rough, voice behind her.  
"Jude, we need to talk," he said gruffly.  
Jude sighed. "I'm sure we do," she muttered before she turned around. She followed Darius into his office and stood in a corner.  
"Sit," Darius ordered.  
She obediantly obeyed and sat down in one of the large brown, leather chairs that were scattered around his office.  
"I'm sure you already know why I asked you to talk with me," Darius said smugly.  
"Oh, I have a pretty good idea," Jude said. She plastered a fake smile to her face and nonchalantly crossed her legs as she though of the irony of Darius's statement. There was no asking her to talk with him, he told her that he needed to talk with her, there was no choice in it.  
"Jude, I can't have you throwing diva fits," Darius said, point-blank.  
"Nothin like getting right to the point, eh D?"  
"I don't like beating around the bush."  
"Apparently. And ya know, you could end my so-called diva fits, pretty quickly."  
"Oh? Enlighten me."  
"Fire Tommy as my producer and hire Kwest. It's really quite simple."  
"I can't do that."  
"Why the hell not? I asked you to fire him before and you did it."  
"Yes I did. But, this is different."  
"How so?"  
"Come on Jude, you're not a kid anymore. You are an adult, and I expect you to handle these work situations like an adult."  
"So, let me get this straight. I'm stuck with Tommy as my procducer, because you want to teach me a lesson?"  
"Yes."  
"That's low Darius, even for you. You know what Tommy has done to me."  
"Yes I do, but none of that should matter anymore."  
"Whatever," she said, folding her arms across her chest.  
"And now, you're acting like a child."  
"Oh, am I?" Jude said before she stood up. "I wouldn't be acting like a child, if you weren't acting like a jackass!" Jude turned around and exited the office before Darius even had a chance to speak.  
Jude ran into Kwest as she came out of the office.  
"How'd it go?" he asked.  
"He told me I was acting like a child who needed to be taught a lesson, and I called him a jackass," she said, a smug smile on creeping upon her face.  
"Okay, well if that's what you said to Darius, I'd hate to see what you would say to Tommy. So before you start World War III, let's go home."  
"Sounds good," she said. They both started walking toward the doors.  
"Jude, where do you think you're going?" Darius asked her.  
"Home."  
"I don't think so. You have work to do. Kwest, you go home. Tommy will make sure Jude gets home."  
"I could just stay," Kwest said.  
"Go," Darius ordered.  
Kwest paused and kissed Jude on the cheek before he left to go back to the apartment.  
"Go into Studio B. Tommy's waiting."  
"Oh joy," Jude said sarcastically. She walked into the studio and found Tommy sitting in the sound booth with his guitar. She groaned and walked toward him.  
"Hey, you calmed down yet?"  
"Maybe."  
"I looked at your lyrics and changed them a little," Tommy said. He handed her the sheet of paper that now held Tommy's scribbles.  
Jude read the lyrics carefull, but the more she read, the madder she got. "Why did you do this to my song?"  
Tommy had purposely changed the words to describe their relationship, the song hadn't even been about relationships in the first place. It had been about her love of music and how it got her through everything.  
"Because I had to."  
"No you didn't!" Jude yelled as she began to rip the paper into tiny pieces. "You had no right to do that Tommy! It was my song.!"  
"And I'm your producer, and I'm the one who tells you what to sing, and how to sing it."  
"I can't sing that and you know why. I'm in love with Kwest, Tommy. I am marrying Kwest. What we were, what little relationship we had, is over, and has been for three years."  
"Jude, I love you."  
"Tommy, stop."  
"No, Jude, I love you and only you. I want to be with you," Tommy said, walking closer to Jude.  
Jude put her hands up in front of her. "Stop it!"  
"Jude, please," Tommy said, begging Jude. "Give me another chance."  
"I can't! I can't give you another chance. Even if I wasn't with Kwest, I couldn't give you another chance."  
"Why not?"  
"Because you've hurt me too many times already. Tommy, you don't understand what you did to me when you left. You just don't."  
"And I told you Jude, I'm sorry," Tommy said, trying to take her hand.  
"No!" She yelled. Her voice softened quickly. "It doesn't matter anymore. Let's just work on a song, so I can go home."  
Tommy hung his head and walked back to the soundboard, his pride shattered.  
They tinkered around with a song Kwest had written and after a few hours, Jude realized they were the only ones left in the studio.  
"I want to go home," she said softly.  
Tommy didn't bother arguing with her. Instead, he put everything away and drove her home, not talking the entire way.  
Jude didn't care if Darius was mad because they had left early. She couldn't handle working with Tommy everyday. Deep down, she knew she was afraid of spending too much tie with him, afraid of falling in love with him again.


	4. Chapter 4

Once she unlocked the door to the apartment, she walked into the living room, sat down beside Kwest on the couch, and curled up against him.

"Hey," he said softly. "What's wrong?" Kwest asked. He had known something had happened as soon as she walked in the door.

"Nothing. It was just a long day."

Kwest kissed her forehead. "How was working with Tommy?" Kwest hesitated asking her because he was honestly worried about what was going to come out of her mouth.

"It sucked. He rewrote my lyrics and I didn't like them, so I used the song you wrote instead."

"You can be so stubborn sometimes."

"Whose side are you on?" Jude demanded, pulling away from his body. She looked at him, brows furrowed and eyes fiery.

"Yours of course. But, you have to be willing to compromise, at least a little."

She stared at him blankly for a few more moments. "Are you saying that I should give in to Tommy?"

"No, not at all. But, you can't always get 100 of what you want. Why don't you just aim for 75?" Kwest suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

"Very funny," Jude said, rolling her eyes at his remark and a serious frown appearing on her face. Soon, Kwest became serious as well and he aimed to comfort her.

"Hey, we'll get through this. I promise." He assured her.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Jude said, finally smiling

"Go right ahead."

The next two weeks dragged on torturously slow for Jude. Darius made Jude and Tommy stay late every night, and she had never been more miserable. Though, as time went on, their fights lessened, and they were finally able to work together. They would still bicker about minor things, but it was always in a humorous way.

As much as Kwest trusted Jude, he didn't like how much time she was spending with Tommy. He was jealous of their late night sessions, even though he assured himself that Jude and Tommy's relationship was completely platonic. Of course, he knew that Tommy still loved Jude. It was obvious. He noticed the way he looked at her while she was singing, the innocent brush of his hands upon hers as he corrected her lyrics and the way he tried to spend as much time as possible with Jude.

Jude was sitting at her desk, working on some new lyrics Tommy had started writing earlier. She was home early tonight, but instead of spending time with Kwest, she was working on music, Tommy's music.

"What do you want for supper?" Kwest yelled from the kitchen.

"Doesn't matter." Jude said quickly, showing no interest in his question.

Kwest shook his head. This was happening more and more. Jude was always preoccupied and distant, choosing to work late, and writing songs. Darius had told Kwest that he hadn't required Jude to stay late at work for almost two weeks.

With each passing day, Kwest became more and more frustrated with his fiancee. He though back to when she was so happy about palnning their wedding, and now she didn't even mention it. He made his way to her office and saw her sitting at her desk, her forehead resting on her hand as she scribbled furiously at the paper in front of her.

"Jude have you talked to Sadie about planning the wedding?" Kwest asked, finally breaking the stillness that seemed to seize him. He waited for what seemd like hours before she spoke.

"No, not yet." She answered with the same indifference as before.

Kwest made his way towards her and just stared as he waited for her to give him some attention. She finished writing the chorus before she looked up at him.

"What's wrong? You look upset."

"Ya think? Jude, you may not see it, but I do. You're changing. Ever since he came back, you're not the same. Do you even want to marry me anymore?" Kwest asked, trying to get some kind of reaction out of Jude.

"What? Are you honestly saying this to me?"

"Yes, I really am, because it's true. You don't care about the wedding anymore because you're always working late with Tommy. And, even when you are home, all you do is sit in this stupid office." Kwest said, finally raising his voice.

"I do not! Tommy is my producer, I have no choice but to work with him." Jude said with equal force.

"Darius told me that he hasn't asked you or Tommy to stay late for the past two weeks."

Jude looked up at him, her face laced with worry. "I-"

"I was fired as your co-producer too, and you never even noticed, because you're too busy making googley-eyes with Tommy!"

"I am not! If you had a problem with this, why didn't you tell me before?"

"You wouldn't have listened. You may not see it, but I do. Tommy is in love with you and as much as I hate it, you're in love with him too."

Jude's face paled and she stared up at him with big eyes.

Kwest shook his head in frustration and made his way out of the office to grab his coat.

"Where are you going?" Jude asked him. Her voice was hoarse and an onslaught of tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"Out, away from here."

"Kwest-" Jude took a step towards him.

"Jude, don't," he said, holding a hand up, as if to warn her to not come any closer.

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she heard him walk to the door and slam it behind him. She didn't love Tommy, Kwest was just being paranoid, Jude told herself. But she wasn't sure if she was lying to herself or telling the truth.

Jude pulled herself from her thoughts when her cell phone rang.

"He--hello?" She said, wiping her eyes.

"Jude?"

"Yeah." She answered, her voice cracking with that one simple word.

"What's wrong?" Tommy asked, sensing the distress in her voice.

"Nothing."

"Jude, I can tell that you're crying. What happened?"

"It's nothing. Kwest and I...we just had a fight."

"It sounds like it was a pretty big one." Tommy said softly. "Look, I hate to do this to you right now, but could you come down to the studio for awhile?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry but-"

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Jude quickly grabbed her purse, walked out of the apartment and drove to G Major.

Jude walked into the studio to find Tommy sitting at his desk.

"I'm glad you came Jude. I really didn't think you would."

"I didn't come to spend quality time with you Tommy. What did you call me for?"

Tommy grinned and handed her a sheet of music.

Jude looked at him curiously after she looked at the paper. "Tommy, what is this?" She asked, referring to the music which held a sporadic arrangement of notes.

"It's a duet."

"I know that." Jude sat down and looked up at him. She saw the grin on his face and instantly knew what he was suggesting. "Tommy, I can't do a duet with you."

"Why not? It's perfect for us. The right range and everything."

"What do you think Kwest and I fought about tonight?"

"I don't know."

"You. We fought about me spending too much time with you."

"We work together, what does he expect?"

"What are we doing now? This isn't work."

"Yes it is, Jude."

"No, it's not," she said softly, toying with her engagement ring. She twisted the precious stone with her thumb as she tried to avoid his eyes "I know I spend too much time with you, and I know I shouldn't feel the way I do right now."

"What do you feel?"

"I feel like a 16-year-old girl, who is still in love with her producer," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"If that's how you feel, why don't you tell Kwest?"

"Because I love him, and he's good to me, and-"

"And you feel obligated to him because he's helped you through some rough times. You love him, I can see that. But, what you and Kwest share, doesn't even come close to what we share."

"That's not true."

Jude, I don't want to argue about this. Something is going on between us, but you just choose not to see it. Just-do me a favor. Just tell me you'll think about what I just said," Tommy pleaded, bringing his eyes to find hers.

"I-" Jude hesitated.

"Promise." He repeated again. "Please," he stepped toward her and grabbed her hands, pulling her closer to him. He stared into her eyes, those green eyes he could get lost in. "You have to promise me," he whispered.

"I promise."

Tommy caressed her cheek and pressed his lips against hers, searching for the truth.

Jude was too caught up in the kiss to realize what was really happening. Tommy's hands had wandered to her lower back before she pushed away. "Tommy, we can't. I can't do this. I have to go," she said quickly. Without giving him time to talk, Jude left G Major and drove back to the apartment. She saw Kwest's car was still gone when she pulled into the parking lot. She shook her head as she opened the door to the apartment complex, she saw a few red spots on the white carpet, leading to her own apartment. Fear suddenly engulfed her as she fumbled to pull her keys from her pockets and her hand began to shake as she unlocked the door. Tentatively opening the door, she poked her head into the dark residence.

"Kwest, are you in here?" Jude called out in a mere whisper. She cautiously continued to follow the trail of red that led to their bedroom.

"Hello, is anybody here?" She asked, tears of fear now rolling down her cheeks. She hesitated for a moment in entering their room for fear of whatever the blood trail would lead to.

She slowly pushed the creaking door open. She saw the pool of dark crimson blood before she saw Kwest. He was lying face down, his skin an off color. At first, she stood in the doorway, in a state of shock. When she finally comprehended what was going on, she ran toward him and knelt beside him. Against her better judgement, she rolled him over and found two gunshot wounds on his chest. Her worst fear had been confirmed.

"Kwest," she said softly through tears. Jude gently placed her right hand on his cheek and saw that his eyes were fluttering open. She quickly called 911 and knelt beside him again. "Kwest?" Her voice trembled as she tried to wake him.

"Jude," he managed to choke out.

By now, she was sobbing as she looked into the pain filled eyes of her fiancee. "Kwest, waht happened?"

"I love you," he said softly.

The rest of the night was a blur for Jude. She woke up in the hospital waiting room and looked around. Tommy was sitting in a chair across from her, his eyes focused on a painting that hung on the wall. And expression she had never seen before animated his face, fear.

It took a few minutes for Jude to remember why she was at the hospital. As she remembered, the color drained from her face and she felt like she was going to throw up. She made a painful, almost pitiful moaning sound which welcomed Tommy's worried glance.

"Jude, are you okay?" Tommy asked. He quickly stood up and sat beside her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Where's Kwest?"

"He's in surgery," he said, not able to look her in the eyes.

"Oh God," she cried and put her face in her hands. "This is all my fault."

"How could it be your fault?"

"He never would have left the apartment if we hadn't fought."

"Jude, calm down. You're just going to make yourself sick. I'm sure Kwest will be fine."

She turned and stared him down. "You don't know that. You don't know that he's going to be okay. While you were kissing me, he was getting shot! And I don't even know how it happened!"

"Jude, stop."

"I love him Tommy. He's all I have. How could I have done that to him?" She whispered with crystal tears rolling down her face.

Tommy was about to hug her, but just then Sadie entered the room and rushed to Jude's side.

"Jude, sweetie, I'm so sorry."

Jude said nothing, but buried her face in her sister's shoulder and cried.

"Shh, Jude, it'll be okay," Sadie said, rubbing her little sister's back.

Sadie held Jude until they had both fallen asleep. By that time, Kwest's parents, his older brother, and Darius had joined them in the waiting room. Tommy had left to go get some coffee and no sooner after he had left, a tall doctor, dressed in green operating scrubs, walked in.

Davaan, Kwest's younger brother, gently shook Jude.

Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up as soon as her eyes caught the green scrubs. "How is he? Can I see him?" Jude asked in one breath.

The doctor held a grim look on his face that Jude had failed to notice before she had spoken.

"What's wrong?" She asked, trembling.

"I'm very sorry, but we lost him in the operating room. One of the bullets pierced, and collapsed his left lung, and the other was lodged into his liver. He went into cardiac arrest, and we were unable to bring him back.

Jude stared at the doctor in shock. This was some nightmare, it had to be. Either that, or the doctor was telling a horrible joke.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." The doctor nodded and left the room.

Jude glanced over at Kwest's parents, Becky and Trevette, and watched as they broke down at the news. Davaan was sitting in a corner, his head bowed to the floor. The site of the broke her, and she had to get away.

She stood up and began to run into the hallway, continuing to run toward the exit doors.

"Jude, wait!" Tommy yelled as she ran past him. He set down his coffee and ran after her.

Jude burst through the doors into the darkness. Cold, icy, rain pelted against her warm skin, but she couldn't feel it. She was completely numb. She had never felt this way before.

Tommy followed her outside. "Jude, what's wrong?"

Jude turned around to face him. Her face was dripping with a mixture of tears and rain, and her eyes were red and swollen.

"Jude, tell me what happened.

"Tommy, he, he's gone."

"What?"

She stared into space and struggled to speak. "They told me they lost him in the operating room. But, when you lose something you can always find it again, right?" She said. She began to sob harder.

By now her clothes were soaked and her hair dripped with water.

"Jude, come on," Tommy said, taking hold of her elbow. "Let's go inside."

"No," she said softly.

"Come on Jude, you're going to get yourself sick out here."

"It doesn't matter anymore Tommy. How can I face his family. What do I tell them when they ask me where I was?"

"You can't balme yourself for what happened."

Jude shook her head and looked directly at Tommy. "I knew something bad would happen when you came back."

"I don't want to fight with you, because it's the last thing both of us need, but don't you dare try pinning this on me. Kwest was my best friend."

"yeah and what a reat friend you made. You were in love with his fiancee!" She turned around and left Tommy standing in the rain as she walked back toward the waiting room. People stared at her, but she didn't notice them. She didn't notice the cold, numbing feeling that had begun to take over her body either. She walked back to the room and saw that Davaan was the only one sitting there.

"Jude, where were you? You're all wet."

"Outside," she said softly. Her teeth chattered together and she shook violently from the cold. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Wandering around I guess. Come here," he said. He took of the soaked track jacket she had been wearing, leaving her in a black tanktop. He slipped his own heavy, gray, USC sweatshirt off, and handed it to her. "Put that on and sit down. I'll go find you some blankets."

A few moments later, Davaan returned with two large, heated blankets. He draped them over her and sat down beside her.

"Jude, what happened tonight?"

"What didn't happen tonight? My fiancee just died."

"And so did my brother. Look, I know that you somehow think that this is your fault, but it's not."

"Why does everyone think that?"

"Because I can see it in your eyes. You feel guilty."

"I can't talk about this right now," Jude said, on the verge of tears.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jude, I know you loved Kwest, and I know this is hard for you, but-"

"Davaan, just stop."

He nodded and stood up. "I'll go get you some coffee."

Despite the blankets and sweatshirt, Jude began to shiver violently, while she sat on the hard hospital couch.

Tommy walked into the room and saw Jude huddled under a pile of blankets. "Jude-"

Jude looked up at Tommy. "Why aren't you at home?"

"Because I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"You're shivering."

"Davaan's getting me some coffee."

"Why don't I take you home?"

"I can't go home. My apartment is roped off and filled with private investigators and policemen."

"Oh. Uh, where are you staying tonight?"

"I haven't even thought that far Tommy."

"Why don't you stay with me?"

"Are you nuts? That would look really good. I'll just call Mason to come get me."

Tommy nodded, trying to think of something else to break the dead silence. "Uh, where is everyone?"

"I think Sadie went home, and Kwest's parents are calling people." Jude paused for a moment before looking up at Tommy. "Just go home."

Tommy stared at her blankly. "I will. Bye," he said quickly, before he walked out.

Davaan returned soon after Tommy had left. "Where are you staying tonight?" He asked her while he handed her the cup of coffee.

"I'm just going to call Mason to come and get me."

Davaan looked away from her. "It hasn't totally sunk in yet, has it?" He asked randomly.

"No, not really," she said softly. "Right away, it hit me hard, and now, I don't know. It's like he's still going to walk through that doorway and tell me that I was just having a bad dream."

"Even though you know that won't happen, you still think about," he said, staring blankly ahead.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"I don't understand how someone could just kill another person, for no reason."

Jude said nothing. She was too afraid she would break down in front of Davaan.

Finally, Davaan looked up at her and spoke. "Mom and Dad already went back to the hotel. Why don't I just take you to Mason's?"

She simply nodded and followed Davaan out to his car. Not a word was spoken on the way to Mason and Chaz's house, but the beating of the rain on the windows dulled the silence.

Davaan pulled up to the house and looked over at her. "Will you be okay?"

She nodded and grabbed her coat. "Hopefully. Thanks for bringing me here."

"No problem. I, I'll probably see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Jude said. She made her way up the steps and rang the doorbell.

"Jude," Mason said when he answered the door. He looked at her soaking wet hair and her wet clothes and raised his eyebrows. "What's going on?"

"Kwest he, uh-"

Chaz was watching one of the new late-night sitcoms when a newsbreak flahsed on the screen. He listened intently as they told the public about the murder of Jude Harrison's fiance. "Mason," Chaz yelled immediately after hearing Jude's name. He walked out to the door and saw a disheveled Jude, standing in the doorway. "Jude I-I just heard."

Jude looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed. She started crying and wrapped her arms around Chaz's neck, a steady flow of tears rolling down her cheeks.

Mason stood in front of Chaz and gave him a curious look.

Chaz knew immediately that Mason wanted to know what was going on, so he mouthed the word's, "Kwest died", to him. Chaz rubbed Jude's back, a futile attempt to calm the horrified young woman down.

She slowly began to pull away from Chaz and looked around. "I was wondering if it'd be okay if I stayed here?" She asked in a barely audible voice.

"Of course Jude. You can have the guest bedroom," Mason said.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Thanks."

After they had gotten Jude somewhat settled in the bedroom, they both walked into the kitchen and turned the news on.

"This just in, Jude Harrison's fiance has been murdered earlier tonight. Kade Westerly, also known as Kwest, was shot to death in an alley. The killer is unknown and still on the loose."

"Wow," Mason managed to spit out.

"Yeah, poor Jude," Chaz said softly.

As tired as she was, Jude couldn't sleep. She hadn't slept alone in more than a year. Kwest was always right beside her, with is arms draped around her small frame.

She felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come, she was exhausted, but sleep wouldn't come. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw Kwest lying in the pool of blood in their room. So much had happened in one single night. A typical fight between a couple had led to a kiss between producer and client, and a tragic event had led to the death of a much loved man, and Jude felt responsible. The man who held the gun, shot the trigger, he wasn't responsible, she was.

Jude had finally fallen asleep around 4:30, but was awakened soon after.

"Jude, wake up," Chaz said softly, as he gently shook her.

"What?" She asked groggily.

"Jude, Tommy just called and he's on his way over."

This immediatley brought her out of her half sleeping state. "Why is he coming?" She demanded.

"The police know who murdered Kwest."

"Th-they do?" Her voice began to quiver.

Mason nodded. "Remember the guy who was stalking you a few months ago? Sending you all those things?"

She nodded. Six months ago, an obsessed fan had began sending her presents, and eventually started following her around, and taking pictures of her doing daily activities and sending them to her. He had been arrested and was put on probation, and she had never heard from him since.

"He's in jail, right?"

Chaz shook his head. "They don't know where he's at. They found the gun in the alley, and took the fingerprints from it. Tommy's coming over because he's still out there."

"So I'll have two ex-boybanders and a gay cowboy protecting me? Oh yes, I feel safe now," she said sarcastically.

"Jude, stop," Chaz said softly.

"No! You don't understand. Nobody does. Kwest is dead, and it's all my fault, but still everyone wants to protect me! Nobody protected Kwest!"

Tommy had entered the house and heard Jude's speech. He shook his head, understanding why she felt guilty. He stood in the doorway for a few more minutes, before he walked into the living room, where Chaz, Mason, and Jude were all standing.

"Hi," he said somberly.

Jude glared at him and sat down on the couch as tears began to fill her eyes.

"Jude," Tommy said softly, his eyes downcast.

Chaz and Tommy took that as their cue to leave the room.

"Tommy don't say anything. I don't want to hear anything right now," Jude quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"He's out there Jude."

"He's out there. We don't even know who he is. All I ever had to do was sign a few papers to get a restraining order. I never knew his name or even what he looked like."

"He killed Kwest, Jude, we don't know what he's capable of."

"What, are you going to protect me?" she asked sarcastically.

"Stop it Jude! Look, I know that you're hurt, and shocked, and whatever else you are, but you cannot blame yourself, or me for that matter. Do you realize that if you hadn't been at the studio, he could have kidnapped you, raped you, killed, or even all three! I wish to God that there was something I could do to turn back time and bring Kwest back, but I can't, and neither can you. No matter what I felt for you, and what he felt for you, he was still my best friend, and I would have died for him. I really don't think you understand that."

"You were jealous of him! How can you call yourself his friend?" Jude raged.

"I was jealous of your choice, not Kwest, never Kwest."

"My choice? You never gave me much of one, considering you were the one who left. You all but threw me into Kwest's arms."

"I left because I had to."

"I don't know how many times I've heard that! Is there a reason why you won't even tell me why you had to leave?" Jude yelled.

"I can't tell you!"

"I don't want to, and I can't deal with this right now," she said, while she took her ring off her finger and held it up in front of Tommy. "This doesn't mean anything anymore, and all I'm doing is standing here, fighting with you!"

"We wouldn't be fighting if you would stop overreacting about stupid things instead of focusing on the real problem, which is that Kwest is dead."

"Shut up Tommy!" Jude warned.

"You're acting like a three-year-old Jude! You know Kwest is dead, but all you can do is throw insults and yell at me. You can't accept that he's gone."

"Of course I can't! I can't sleep Tommy, all I think about is how I found him! You're not helping one bit."

Tommy's tone softened as he looked up at her. "I'm sorry." He said. He left the room and walked into the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Worst updater of the year...yeah that's me. Anyways, my summer's been crazy, we got a foreign exchange student, so I haven't been able to write/be online as much as I'd hoped to be...so hopefully I'll be able to write more and I hope I didn't lose some of my readers.  
Reviews are like candy :)

Jude grabbed the coffee pot and threw it against the wall, the glass shattering instantly. She slammed her hands down on the counter and began to cry.

It didn't take long for Tommy to rush into the kitchen. Jude was slumped down on the floor, leaning against the wall. He saw the broken glass littered across the kitchen and walked over to her.

"Jude, are you okay?" Tommy asked, looking her over.

She shook her head, tears still falling down her cheeks. "No, I'm not okay. I never will be," she said softly.

Tommy shook his own head and wrapped his arms around her. He gently rubbed her back and held her close to him, hoping this nightmare would soon fade away.

Jude was standing in front of the mirror in the guestroom, smoothing the black dress she wore. For some stupid reason she wanted to look perfect, probably for Kwest, but even more so to show the media that she was going to be okay. She slipped on a pair of Jimmy Chou slingbacks and sat down on the bed. Kwest's funeral was today and still it all seemed so surreal. People had called, stopped by, sent things, and Jude could have cared less. Tommy had spent the last few days at the house and Jude chose to keep her distance from everyone. She spent most of her days sitting in the room, picking at her guitar.

Tommy knocked on the door and peeked his head in. "Ready to go?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

Jude, Mason, Chaz, and Tommy, all rode to the church together, but Jude entered the church with Kwest's family. She put on a brave face for the sympathies and the hugs, but as soon as she saw the oak casket that lay ahead of her, she stood frozen. Davaan stood by her and reached for her hand, as if to tell her everything was going to be okay. Her eyes never left the casket, and her feet never left the spot on the floor. Tears began to flood out of her already swollen eyes and she turned around and ran to the bathroom.

Tommy had saw her run past him and excused himself from the few people he was talking to. He knocked on the door and walked into the bathroom. "Girl, you can't always run into the women's bathroom when you're upset," he tried to joke.

Jude looked up, her hair in her face and her eyes red and puffy.

"What happened?" He asked as he sat down a few feet away from her, giving her some space.

"I just, I saw the casket and I lost it. I didn't even see him and I lost it."

"Jude, I think that's a pretty common reaction that people have."

"I told myself I wouldn't do this, not today."

"Everyone expects you to."

"Which is exactly why I said I wasn't going to hole myself up in a bathroom."

"Well then, let's get you back over there. You can get through this day Jude. Once this is over, it'll get easier I promise."

"I don't think it'll get easier, but I know this is the worst part."

Tommy helped her up from the floor and walked her back to Davaan. They walked behind the casket and were ushered into the first pew. She heard the whispers, that the crowd had tried so hard to conceal. She felt the stares and the looks of sympathy, she couldn't take it much longer.

Jude sat in between Kwest's father and Davaan, her eyes frozen on the cross in the front of the church. She didn't hear the music, or the pastor speaking about Kwest. She blocked everything out. Davaan laid his hand on her shoulder, and motioned that it was over, it was time to leave the church, to bury her fiance.

For the next two weeks Jude didn't say anything to anybody. Tommy pleaded with her to talk, but nothing mattered. She felt more guilt than anything. Of course she missed Kwest, but the guilt of kissing Tommy was slowly killing her.

"What are we going to do with her?" Tommy asked Mason and Chaz one afternoon.

"Honestly, I don't know," Chaz said.

"Tommy, I know you've talked to her already, but try a different approach maybe."

Tommy looked at Mason like he was crazy. "Don't you think I've tried different 'approaches'?"

"I don't know, we're all worried about her Tommy."

"You think I'm not? I know I shouldn't be saying this but, I love that girl that's holing herself up in her room and slowly killing herself, and I hate that I can't help her with this."

Mason shook his head. "Tommy, we all know that you love Jude, Kwest even knew, it's not like it's a surprise."

"I know she feels guilty that he died, but so do I."

"Then try talking to her from that side of things, you never know what might happen Tom," Chaz said softly.

Tommy nodded and walked to Jude's room, softly rapping on the door.

"Come in," came her hollow voice.

"Hey," he said, a small smile on his face as he sat at the edge of her bed. She was dressed in a pair of black yoga pants and an oversized hoody, probably one of Kwest's. Her hair was frizzy and looked as if she hadn't combed it in days.

"Save the you have to come out sometime speech okay?" She said teresly. "It won't make me come out."

"I wasn't planning on using that speech actually. I just came to talk."

"About what?" She asked, looking up at him with puffy eyes.

"Kwest, you, me, Chaz and Mason, whatever you want."

"I keep telling myself that he's just on a really long vacation."

"It's not helping is it."

"No," she said, shaking her head, tears rolling down her cheeks.

He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "I feel so guilty Jude, and I know you do too..." he said softly.

"I wonder if I'd feel guilty even if I hadn't been with you, you know, like if I'd been with Sadie, shopping or something."

Tommy shrugged. "I-I don't know Jude, I wish I did, but I don't."

"I just want everything to go back to normal, Tommy, I really do."

"That's understandable," Tommy said softly. He didn't want to say too much, because he was afraid she'd get mad at him and shut him and everyone else out again.

"Th-there's something else though Tommy," she said softly.

"What?" Tommy said, sounding worried.

"I think I'm pregnant," she said, her body shaking with sobs.

Tommy's eyes widened before he snapped back to reality and pulled her close to him. He rubbed her back in circles, trying to get her to calm down, but there was the fact that this was tearing him up inside. The girl he was in love with was pregnant with his best friends baby, who also happened to be dead. How screwed up could this whole mess get?


End file.
